Stop Divorce
“I want a divorce!” That’s last thing and the most difficult statement you want to hear coming from your spouse especially when you know that no matter how difficult your problems at the moment, you still believe that there is hope and your marriage is worth keeping.
Asking for a divorce is probably your spouse’s idea of getting over with the problems as quick as possible. Or this may have been a suggestion of friends and family members whom he or she is confiding with. Divorce had become a normal situation and a popular solution to marital problems by many. Divorce-is it really the easy way out from your troubles?
Once spouse declare his or her intention for separation, do not get angry and keep yourself calm. Sit down for a moment and think…ask yourself, what made your spouse ask for it? Do you really have to give in with the divorce?
It is not easy to keep calm once confronted with this kind of crisis, but you need to clear your mind and brush away any negative emotions. You need to see things clearly for you to stop divorce proceedings. If you think your are already compose and you are sure that your negative emotions can’t over power your objectivity here are the things you can do that might convince your spouse to stop filing for a divorce.
- Speak tenderly and invite your spouse to sit down with you and sort things out. Be clear that you are willing to listen. Listening means paying attention to every word without any distraction. Some people think they are listening but they’re not. Their mind wanders away. Don’t let this happen to you at this very crucial moment. Concentrate only to what your spouse is saying, so you won’t miss a thing and fully understand the reason behind the instant divorce decision.
- Once you found out the main reason for the divorce, make a compromise with your spouse that you are willing to correct the mistakes. Do not make any excuses or defensive statements and prove that you are right and she or he is wrong. Just accept your part in the problem and state your willingness to make things better.
- Ask his or her idea of the best solution for your problem aside from divorce. Make your spouse feel important and well loved, that you can’t afford to lose him or her. This is one way of persuading your spouse to stop filing the divorce and work with you in keeping your marriage.
- Make a commitment with your spouse in spending more time together, discussing any issue openly in a positive manner and to be more intimate with each other.
Solving all the problems in your marriage can’t be done in 24 to 48 hours. It takes a long process and cooperation between you and your mate. What is important is you have a common objective to stop divorce, renew your married life and aim for a better and happier relationship together.
“The only true gift is a portion of yourself.”
–Ralph Waldo Emerson
If in any case, the problem is too big to handle for just the two of you. It is best to ask a credible professional marriage therapist to guide you through to improve your marriage ad stop divorce.