Marital Crisis

Disagreements happen all the time in any relationship. You must learn to accept that problems come and go in a person’s life. Most married couple recognized this reality in their lives and they learned how to deal with every conflict that comes along the way.

Marital Crisis is brought about by an array of reason such as: communication, children, personality differences, and extra-marital affair.

These are just a few reasons where problem arise between a couple if not addressed properly your marriage may lead to a sad ending…divorce.

COMMUNICATION

This is one of the major causes of misunderstanding between couple. You can’t just practice a mere communication in marriage by simply speaking the words clearly and listening. You need to use EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION to avoid problems.

A Couple fights because of:

  1. Miscommunication, He or she can’t clearly state her wants, needs, dreams in life, and inner feelings and thoughts.
  2. Improper communication, for instance instead of speaking softly, a spouse start the communication by complaining or yelling when something is wrong.
  3. Lack of communication, some couple let the day pass without discussing important aspects of their life.
  4. Inconsistency in communication, There are individuals who are not consistent with their words that creates confusion. They often say nothing when they really want to say something which normally leads to argument.

In marriage you need to practice EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION, the ability to use the right communication skills such communicating tenderly with your spouse. Avoid the negative and combatant style of conversation. Use constructive criticism when you want to correct something. And most importantly effective communication is not just speaking properly but also listening attentively coupled by respect and understanding. If something is not clear, ask for clarification and don’t criticize or condemn your partner.

CHILDREN

Majority of couples center their life to the kids once they start having them. They focus more on the needs of the children and their responsibilities as parents. There’s nothing wrong with that, kids are suppose to bind you as couple. But some couple develops distance with each other because of their responsibilities with their offspring. Why? That’s the only common interest they share. Other than that, they don’t do anything together anymore. They feel exhausted and they don’t have time to cuddle and emotionally connect with each other. Romance and sexual desire is fading.

Do you have kids right now? If yes, aside from taking care of them and planning for their future, have you talk to your spouse about your needs as husband and wife? If not, better do something about it.

  • You should always prioritize you marriage. This doesn’t mean abandoning your parental responsibilities instead balance your activities.
  • Develop a common interest aside from your children’s needs and learn to enjoy and relax together.
  • Be away with the kids once in a while and have an alone time with your spouse to be intimate and fulfill your sexual needs.
  • Keep in mind that your marriage should be your top priority because having a healthy marriage benefits your children. A dysfunctional, unhappy marriage will not only cause trouble to you but to your children as well.

PERSONALITY DIFFERENCES

Irreconcilable difference is the number one reason of most couples seeking for divorce.

After years of living together they still don’t know how to deal and respect each other’s personality.

Because of personality differences both spouse try to change each other. That causes problem.

Don’t force your spouse to change his or her personality, even if your purpose is for his betterment.

But did you ever think how your spouse feel when you blatantly tell him or her that you don’t like the

way he or she dress, talks, or spends time and money? That hurts! Your spouse expected you to love and accept him at face value and yet you’re trying to change him or her.

It is best for you to understand each other deeply and try to work out your differences. Instead of focusing on what you don’t like about your spouse, concentrate on finding the things you like about him or her. Learn to embrace each others’ personality because there’s no such thing as perfectly compatible. Even an identical twin has dissimilarities.

EXTRA MARITAL AFFAIR

This is the hardest part within the marital crisis. Most couple considers this as inexcusable act. A spouse like you may not even think of the idea that your partner is unfaithful in your marriage. Men and women are vulnerable to temptation at work especially when everybody in the office is always at their best.

You need to avoid developing emotional attachment to the opposite sex at your work place because it may just lead you to stray. Try to look best not for anybody else but your spouse. If you are a stay at home wife and full time mom, make sure that you also take care of yourself not only the children. You must remain attractive for your husband and always be fresh and joyful every time he comes home from work.

You as a husband must always be excited to come home and be with your family and treat them as your ultimate joy in your life.

“A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day.”—Andre Maurois