How to Stop Divorce and Rebuild Your Own Life

“From suffering, I Have learned this:

that whoever is wounded by love will never be made whole unless

she embraces the very same love which wounded her.”

—Mechtild of Magdeburg—

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Above is a statement from a woman, a statement that signifies hope even if she suffered and wounded by the person she loves. She is willing to embrace the same love that wounded her. She knew, she will never be complete without his love.

There is HOPE and there are ways to STOP A DIVORCE no matter how complicated is the situation. The point is, if you’re not willing to accept the separation try to do something to reverse her decision. You need to deal with the situation properly so that it will not escalate. Compose yourself and don’t allow yourself to become dysfunctional so you can think right and take steps one at a time.

You need to CONVINCE YOURSELF that there HOPE and you can STOP the DIVORCE before you take you the following steps:

Step 1- TALK GENTLY- Do not show anger or negative feelings. Tell her that permanent separation is not the best option for both you. Let her know that you are willing to break up but set a time limit. Meaning you give each other space to evaluate what went wrong in the relationship and you’ll both work things out. You want separation with the intention to come back.

Step 2-MAKE YOUR STATEMENT CLEAR- If she is willing to listen try to make it clear, direct to the point and explain why you don’t want a permanent divorce in short simple sentences without blaming her. Focus on the solution since men are good at problem solving- use that skill to convince her to give yourselves another chance. Tell her that even if you are temporarily broken up, you are willing to do things for her anytime.

Step 3- LISTEN ATTENTIVELY- Be prepared to accept her answers, and pay attention to every detail she might tell you. Read between the lines and closely observe her actions. Sometimes women complain because men never pay attention to what they are saying. You need to carefully listen. She might be saying NO but she’s actually saying YES! Read her actions. Once you get the YES signal move on to the next step.

Step 4- MAKE AN ASSESSMENT- How do you feel about her response? Did she mention any suggestion? Are you willing to do it? Weigh all information. Do not rush to get back together sometimes it is best for a couple in trouble to break up and re-evaluate each others’ feelings.

Speaking of feelings…that’s the very first thing you must consider why you want to STOP the DIVORCE.

Do you feel miserable without her?

Do you believe that you are destined for each other?

Do you miss everything about her including her shortcomings?

Do you strongly believe that you are willing to re-establish your commitment to your marriage no matter what it takes?

If that is the case then move on to the next level…

Step 5- ACT POSITIVELY – If both of you are willing to renew your commitment, and forgive each other make sure that all your actions are done in a positive way and act mature. Do not try to reconcile if both of you are not emotionally prepared because you might end up breaking up again.

It is best if you seek advice from a professional therapist to guide you step by step toward your healing process.

While you are in the stage of temporary break up keep building your self-confidence and improve your relationship with other people. Be healthy and be happy. You need to rebuild your own life while in the process stopping the divorce.

It is important to seek your own happiness. Some people blame their unhappiness to their spouses. That’s not the case; you need to accept responsibility for your own happiness.

LIFE is fulfilled if there is HOPE, LOVE and HAPPINESS in your heart.

Helen Keller said, “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.”